Making friends isn't the easiest thing to do in the world anymore, or probably at my age. I feel like everyone has their own agenda and if they can't use you, they don't need you.
I'm the type of person that gives in a friendship. I don't need to take and I don't mind giving. I'm not saying I am an incredible friend but I treat everyone the same in the beginning. I will go out of my way for you hoping one day you will do the same for me, but from my experiences, thats never been the case. Once I realize its a one way friendship, it becomes too late, I'm so use to helping that I don't know how to stop anymore. If you ask, I will obliged. Then the friendship becomes a drag. The feeling of enjoying one's company becomes something I don't look forward to anymore. Will I stop? Probably not. I will do my best at what I can to help even if I know someone is straight out using me.
How can you just cut someone out of your life? Exclude them from things? I hate the feeling of leaving people out. I will never do it on purpose. But I don't look forward to the friendship... It just takes one thing, you initate and I will no longer feel like it was me who ended it.
You never know how much you don't need a person in your life until they are gone. You have this sense of relief that you never felt before. Its like freedom. You aren't bound to keep them company or feel the need to be a friend even though they take you for someone less.
I guess as you grow older, you need to learn that there some people you should hold onto and some people you should just let go. Its not worth it. Life is definitely too short, dont waste your time.
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